该这么爱，你才明白
我所谓的未来只为了你存在
就是那么简单的爱
该这么爱，你才勇敢去爱
你所谓的未来换来的是等待
你需要勇敢起来
你明不明白，你明不明白？
this song is compose by a fb friend of mine..
he is a new singer/composer in singapore...
whenever he post a video on fb, i will olways watch...
he sing well, he compose well.
a very talented guy...
elson soh..
i was in love wit this song call 该这么爱.
while listening to this song wit a wonderful emotion, i was brought back to him on my mind..
dion is very busy since morning..
she woke up at 3am!
and till now, still as active..
i carry her to my room at around 8.30am..
when she was drinking her milk, she called mi..
baby: "mama, mama"
mi: "yes baobei?"
baby: "papa ehx?"
mi: turning to look at her "papa at home orhorh"
baby: "papa orhorh ah?, ion orhorh"
(ion is dion.. lolx)
mi: "ok, orhorh, "
baby: "muacks"
is very sweet thou...
her dad is slping, and she olso wanna slp..
trying to do what we are doing..
but this conversation is so amazing.. becos she is missing him like i do..
wonder is he feeling ani better?
hope he drink alot of water to recover..
i am gonna start prepare for work!
ystd while i was working, dad and family went to our fav restaurant to eat shark fins and crabs..
dad pack mi a pack of noodles..
but becos i came home late as i brought my staff to consult a doc, then head home..
mum becos hungry and i let her eat..
i don have much appetite still..
running nose and abit bleeding again..
this few days, start work abit later..
able to spend a equal time wit baobei..
and seeing her grow up olways make mi smile..
every day doing different thing to make mi laugh..
daddy poh says that i am pampering her..
compare to both our parents, i am not pampering..
i am jus letting her be free and easy to do things she love..
daddy poh ask mi to beat her if she is wrong..
but i nv believe beating children they will be gd..
but i believe the love we give her, make her settle down...
teaching her what is gd and bad..
letting her happy..
daddy poh only know how to make mi do nasty job..
he himself know that dion bite ppl in skool and saw the poort lil boy face, he still laugh wit dion..
very naughty huh both of them..
but i jus love the way they are..
my frenx are asking mi to put down my ego and pride..
but i cant...
i donnoe how to accept it if thing wasnt gd..
i cant let my ego and pride down..
i couldnt tell him..
becos i don have the confident of having them two in my life..
becos i don have the confident of giving him a equal happiness now..
for mi, the way i love him is to return him his freedom..
the same way i gave baobei olso..
one day, they both gonna leave mi..
or rather to say, i am gonna leave them..
he will get married..
and i will take dion away from the place of memorize..
and dion gonna get married..
i am gonna sit there and wait for my death..
and that is when i am free from this responsibility..
free from protecting him and her..
free from the suffering..
and hope my next life, i am gonna have a happier life then before..
20yr old girl, i can say, is reali tough..
but as all ppl said, i am doin a gd job..
being a single mum, being a responsible women..
being a guardian angel beside him..
his bday is 2 and a half months away..
dion's is 3 months away..
i wanna get him a branded wallet this time round and will rmb to place a pic of dion inside for him to treasure..
but what about dion?
i donnoe what to get for her.. and donnoe how should i celebrate for her..
buffet again!?
seems so boring..
but i only have a day off on her bday..
from oct onwards not allow to be on leave..
well..
retail peak period..
and it will be the busiest time of the yr..
she is gonna to be two..
i am proud to say to myself, thx you chin xuemin for making such a right choice to bring her out to this world..
even i lose everything in my life..
i had my world now..
i will have to plan to bring her out on her bday..
to a cable car ride..
a tour in singapore to the places that i have nv been before..
and this coming tues i may wanna ask his parent out to a dinner..
is being long since we had a meal and wit dion..
xuemin