i know..
i can feel ur feeling..
i am not dumb..
i am not a fool..
but i jus wanna protect our friendship..
we are olways frenx i hope...
u are a gd guy..
which u deserve someone who is able to love u rather then giving u nth but trouble..
all along the way..
u are olways by myside..
i couldnt say i don feel anithing..
becos there is time, i reali reali wanna allow u into my life..
but that wasnt love..
is gratitude..
life won be better if u wasnt there..
being a single mum is nv easy..
but at least i have u supporting every of my decision and sharing my troubles..
pls don tell mi..
i jus wanna pretend i donnoe..
we are best frenx.. we are buddies..
love shouldnt be into us..
a stranger can too feel i had him in my heart..
i don mean what i said to him again..
is true he wasnt ready to be a daddy..
but it wasnt true that he don love dion..
which parent in the world doesnt love our children..
but i jus told him to enjoy the life he wans and play to the fullest before he settle down and find dion..
it will take 5 yrs for him to be ready i guess..
dion will be 6 yrs old..
she won be able to recognize him at that time..
but is still better to let dion see him when he is mature enough to be a daddy..
i donnoe what else gonna happen..
jus knew, i finally did it..
to treat him like a passby..
to treat him as a stranger even if i were to meet him outside..
to forget his smile..
to forget his everything..
xuemin is a strong girl...
i am not crying for the lost animore..
i will smile and prepare to the path of my future..
to give dion the best i could..
to be a gd mum..
and when i meet the mr right..
gonna get married live happily..
sometime jus thought if he appear infront of mi..
i would feel softhearted again..
but i guess and hope..
not animore..
and his ego and pride won allow him to do it too de..
well..
mi and him, share the same character..
but different mentality..
he mus be enjoying his life now..
while i am still the same..
staying by dion side..
hope to do a better job as a mum..
she only has mi..
till the day i die, i will be fully responsible to dion chin shiting/poh xiangqin..
i promise..
baby, mummy love u..
today..
2 yr 2 months since u left mi..
baby hope u are doing gd up there..
i will visit u as soon when i am off..
i nv forget u..
nv once in my life..
u are my baby too..
i will make time for u..
come and see mummy in my dream..
i misses u alot..
i told ppl i had 2 baby..
2 cutest and precious sweetheart..
1 angel and 1 devil..
lolx..
1 prince and 1 princess..
it makes no different becos both of u are my baby..
hope u love mi as much as i love u too..
thinking of u, my tears rolled down..
i jus hope for the best..
for u to come back to my side..
i believe..
u will be back to mi..
xuemin