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Disclaimer♥
► This blog is a property of douceCXM.
► If you are at the wrong website and don't wish to stay here, you may exit.
► Drop me a tag if you'd like to say something to me.
► Nasty comments? Keep them to yourself.
► If you like my blog or if you like ME, do come back again :)
► Navigate by clicking on the header above.
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Friday, April 1, 2011 love u:)
Title:
Time: 11:35 PM
我又帮自己 订了场电影
结果坐在 广场找你背影
人来了又去 我好怀念迟到有人会发脾气
手机有收讯 简讯不是你
打开了 更让人失望到底
你走就走吧 干麻留下每天没看完的韩剧
我想我真的怕安静 少了你吵我不开心
回 家第一个开机 掩盖所有的安静
说不定我能够撑过去
我想我真的怕安静 连洗澡都要戴耳机
打电动声东击西 一停我又怕想起
念我和爱我的人 我没珍惜
你爱的歌手 又出了专辑
一样好听 可是特别痛心
歌词每一句 根本办不到还硬劝我要放弃
把闹钟 设不停 或许我 会清醒
我想等下去可惜爱不能靠毅力
要是我 挽回你 你一定 更伤心
爱一个人不一定要永远在一起
真的怕安静 不想去也硬要出去
逛闹区到KTV 点你必点的歌曲
怎麽合唱的人不是 你
原来我这麽怕安静 是怕再也听不到你
在厨房大声唱歌 在沙发硬跟我挤
让我终於晓得 我有多爱你
你已不 在 这里
this is something i would like to let him know..
i am totally in love wit this song..
i listen to this song for more then a 100 times everyday..
do u know?
but the more i listened.. the more i slap myself awake..
things shouldnt be like this..
dion shouldnt be a in between person
becos there won be a chance where we both will be tgt again..
i told myself to accept the fact that this is the end of the fate of us..
no longer exist chen xuemin and poh junde..
we both have move on well isnt it?
at least i succeed in making him grow more like a man..
no one will do a better job in this..
becos i do it even if i hurt him..
i hurt him by scolding him useless..
i scold him irresponsible..
i did all nasty things to make him realize that he doesnt have a say animore..
but all i did should be the best for him..
i am glad that all this is showing improvement
and he is moving on happily so which means..
my job is done here..
i should do what i say.
to remain like this as a parent of dion..
but i shouldnt be even thinking of loving him animore..
i should give dion all of my heart..
at least dion won hurt mi more then he do..
seeing him will be difficult to make mi forget about everything..
but i still have to remind myself about all..
everything ended..
or should i tell him to bring dion out on his own..
not becos i don wanna see him.. not becos i don wanna look after both of them..
but it will affect mi alot seeing him..
i am a strong girl..
but whenever i see him, thing will change..
is time..
is reali time to let everything end...
i rmb my sis told mi this..
"rather to dwell about all this, let dion stay happy, healthy and educated..
can u be pretend to be generous and forgiving and hopefully she can carry the virtue u hold? can u do it becos u truely love her? she is ur daughter, she look u as a role model,
a perso that she might wanna become..
don confuse her by ur own confusion, u might accidently leave her a scar to learn and how to love and trust.."
this sentence stuck deep in my heart..
yes, i confuse myself and shouldnt let dion suffer animore..
if i can be generous and forgiving..
one day, baby princess will grow up to be like mi..
woman are olways the one losing out compare to guys..
i should have know this after he left mi..
should not complain as having dion is my own choice despite ppl disagree
i grown up but he didnt get to see my growth..
so be it..
there is nth i can do..
so i will have to step out of the circle trap by him..
i should be happy..
i am breathing not becos of him animore..
let dion be the one to motivate mi..
let dion to be the motivation of my hardworking..
let dion stays deep and occupy my heart for the rest of the life..
but one thing for sure..
i can nv trust a guy animore..
maybe i will be like this..
not having a guy beside mi till i die..
but at least i had the best before..
and nv should i regret..
i tell myself to cry for the last time..
not becos i couldnt have him back..
but cry becos i learn and grown up again..
this will be the last time..
last time i will say this three words..
other then dion..
no one else will be able to hear this..
last time i will say this to him..
poh junde, i reali love u alot..
i love u..
after today..
after i finish typin this post..
maybe alot of thing would change..
becos i will no longer dote on u..
i will stop helping u..
i will not be there and love u wholeheartedly animore..
i will not be making ani promises to u again..
i don wanna be a fool to wait for u animore..
i will still smile to u..
i will still see u as dion daddy..
but no longer a important role to mi..
becos i wanna play my lead role in dion life now and forever..
my heart aches now..
but after today..
everything will be fine..
i will stop blogging if necessary..
or i will only blog about mi and dion life from now on..
or even change a blog..
becos one day, when u get to see this post..
u will realize the i am gone jus becos i exchange a word wit god..
to see u healthy and happy..
xuemin
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