recently
alot of ppl talking about mi and him
about our past
about everything that ever happen to us..
it is like a dream..
ppl ask mi to sell our story to become a drama..
i don wan, i jus wanna keep it as a precious thing to us..
every lil detail when he is wit mi..
he hug mi tightly,
he cried jus becos he don wanna lose mi..
he apologize to mi when he knows he is in fault..
he kiss mi gently to ensure my heart..
he secretly come into the toilet when i am bathing..
he wants my attention to him when i am busy..
every lil thing he do..
remains in mi..
when he wan to be pampered by mi..
when he want mi to dig his ear..
when he wan mi to do thing for him..
when he wan mi to wash his plates and i will olways pretend to lose him so i will do the washing...
when he show mi his smile i will melt..
he call mi baby and i look at him and he smile..
when he ask mi to decide, he olways wan mi to guess what he want..
when he wants mi to watch soccer wit him no matter how tired i am, i will still stay wit him..
when he says he is hungry but lazy to go out, i went out to get us food while he stayed at home playing games..
i miss all these time..
i miss him by myside alot more when i have to smile and tell ppl about mi and him..
how much i wanna stop thinking..
i miss him alot..
i am clueless what he is thinking now..
i am totally out of his life..
ppl is asking mi to step out of my pride and ego and my so call dignity...
to tell him how i feel..
but i couldnt..
i don wan thing to change..
what if i tell him and he wouldnt even bring mi and dion out..
what if i tell him and he tell mi he don love mi animore..
what if i tell him and he says is impossible..
i will cry, becos i donnoe how to face the truth..
i am scare our friend come to tell mi about him..
i am scare that they will tell mi he has a girlfriend right now..
i am scare to hear him moving on happily without mi..
i love him wholeheartedly but to him, it was a trash..
i felt so useless..
so tired..
so exhausted being like this..
my frenx say i change..
becos i nv love a guy so much...
one sided love is so hard..
he don even feel it..
so i can only be like this..
donnoe how long i can hold on..
life wasnt easy lately..
idk why..
thing seems to change..
ever since dion name is out..
work wasnt so happy animore..
felt so stress..
felt so tired..
and dion, hasnt being spending alot of time wit her..
i felt so sry to her..
baby, mummy love u alot..
she is growing up well..
her teeth is gonna complete soon i hope..
she is the most happiest girl..
she has everything she need..
all we can give, we tried..
very pampered but adorable..
everyone would love to be our baby girl like dion..
becos she live wit a life of wealth and happiness..
at least, in her memorize, there wasnt a time of her parent quarreling..
she love lying on my body and watch tv till she is aslp..
she love mi to pat her while watching tv..
she love lollipop..
although we know is not gd, but we will give whenever she ask..
she is a sweetheart to the whole of our family and even her dad's
everyone love her as much..
cant stop thinking of her..
snatching to carry her..
snatching to play wit her has become a part of fun in our life..
when she go skool in may, hse will be very quiet..
but at least will be cleaner.. lolx..
i wanna let her learn playing violin and ballet..
her granny wans her to learn playing golf..
we will bring her every where she wants..
i have started planing her two yr old bday..
i will wanna organize it at fidgets in their bday room..
told her dad about it too.. and i think he agrees too..
i know i am very anxious..
i am even thinking about her 2nd bday present..
but couldnt think of anithing..
she has everything..
i still have plenty of time to think about it.. lolx..
i am starting my driving lesson next week on 2nd..
so gd:)
hahax..
i wanna faster pass.. lolx..
but work is stressful enough to distract mi..
haix..
if i could get to see him soon..
i think my energy is gonna recharge soon..
i wanna see him alot.. :)
i love u mr poh..
i love u miss poh/chin..
having a meeting tml..
so heading to bed early tonite..
i have been slacking on bed almost whole day today.. hahahax..
dion finally aslp..
gd nite:)
xuemin