i wanted to do a short blog today..
dk reali know what i wanted to blog..
but how is it feel like when u know someone u love is happier without u..
i should be happi..
i know and understand i don have a stand..
i reali wanna stop my heartbeat..
at least i won cry animore..
no wonder so much thing happen..
and no wonder dion doesnt seems to be his first animore...
what hurts mi is, he said he love dion..
jus like when he use to say he love mi..
but throwing and casting mi aside..
but what did my dion do to deserve this?
it reali hurt so much again..
this time is double..
hurting dion equals hurting mi twice..
i should have got use..
but what about dion?
isnt she suppose to be innocent..
isnt it what u and ur family telling mi?
not to hurt dion no matter what i do..
i protected her from all..
but i jus couldnt protect her being hurt from u..
i don wanna failed to be a mum even i am not a gd gf or a wife..
didnt wanna explain to my sis..
but ended up reprimanded by her that i will hurt dion if i insist on changing dion surname..
but i couldnt bear to sit there and do nth..
i don wan dion to ask mi, "why daddy didnt come and see mi"
i don wan dion to cry to mi and tell mi she misses her dad..
what can i do for dion now?
except sitting here crying..
what can i do to lesser the pain she is gonna receive by someone she love..
i don mind being the bad person to stop them from coming to see her animore..
at least when dion grows, her dad gd image is still there..
but what can i do?
i am sry baby princess..
mummy is useless...
my elder sis ask mi to tolerate..
if he is hurt mi alone, i will still be able to take it..
but he is all coming after dion too..
i told him so many times, not to hurt dion..
don take dion for granted...
she is not a portrait..
she is a baby! a baby girl..
his own flesh..
i am so tired of protecting his gd daddy image..
i am so tired of giving him chances..
i am so tired of living under so many lies to myself and dion..
i am so so tired..
i jus wan a life of mi and dion onli..
i wanna tell him we don need him...
i wanna beg him to leave mi and dion alone for now..
i will be the bad person again..
i will put an end to this tragic..
becos i started out not being firm enough..
and now i will..
i guess i my tolerance will be only till after cny..
poh's reali think money is everything..
to mi..
dion is the first to mi...
nobody gonna love her more then i do..
i don wann lie to dion animore...
i don wanna greet her gdnite on behalf of her dad when he didnt even think about her..
i don wanna tell her "daddy and mummy love u"
when is only her mum there by herside..
i don have the courage to face his nonsense..
no more willingness to give him to him animore..
i don have the energy to say i love him when he constantly hurting dion like how he did to mi..
i hope he will lose everyone by his side..
and he will realize the important of kinship..
i am sry, i nv mean it to say such things..
i don wanna see anithing happen to his parents..
but i hope they give up on him too..
he is turning 25 this yr on oct..
i won take pity on someone who seems so immature when he is at this age and is a dad..
even worst then my brother is guess, becos at least my brother is still respectful to his family..
seriously..
no more him..
onli dion and mi...
xuemin