dion is now lying beside mi..
watchin her tv and i am blogging..
fast post here.. becos she will soon climb up on mi and ask mi to play wit her..
hahahx..
aniway..
happi new yr to all..
i didnt enjoy my first nite of new yr..
not becos my frenx and family..
but i think about him..
but well..
this is something i reali cant control..
elder sis has been askin mi to bring dion over to his hse later on..
but my heart tells mi not too..
at least to show how determine i am this time to make him less important..
i couldnt say forget about him..
but i will take and give my heart some time to heal and change a direction..
he sms mi early in the mornin..
and i guess i am messed up again..
affected..
he sent mi a sms to ask mi help him greet dion a happi new yr..
he say sry, becos he know he failed to be one dad..
he said i gave him alot of chances to be a gd dad, but he didnt grab hold..
apart from all he says, my heart still tells mi he is lying..
and i don reali wanna believe in him this time..
i guess, i am reali tired..
tired of his words..
he olways said all this to tie my heart down..
selfish isnt it?
he knows if he said things like this, i would give in more to him..
but this time round?
CHEN XUEMIN! PLS STAY FIRM..
is olways becos of him, i cried..
is olways becos of him, i lost to defect my heart..
haix..
i reali don wanna quarrel wit him animore..
reali reali reali tired now..
i reali reali wanna give up on him..
give up hope on him to be a gd dad..
xuemin