i haben seen dion for more then 24 hrs..
becos she has spend her 24hrs wit her dad..
:((
i miss her alot.. and she is slpin rite now..
hope she wil wake up jus becos she know i am home for her..
i rush home..
run and walk as fast as i could...
jus to see her and carry her and even kiss her..
without her, is empty...
in mi, or at home..
nth seems to be right..
not feeling gd in work..
not feeling happi at all..
and this is how much i needed her in my life..
how much baby dion need mi, i guess is not much as i am..
but baby..
i cant afford to lose u..
jus one day, will she rmb mi and think of mi..
haix..
jus don feel gd at all..
ppl tryin to think i will fall in love soon again..
ppl thought i lied this time tryin to stay single..
ppl might think is impossible..
but i myself think..
i reali don wish to get involve in rs animore..
i couldnt accept other except him..
i jus have him in my heart that i don wanna take him out..
my love is noble enough i guess..
rmbing how stressful he was when we found out i was preg..
i couldnt bear to see him tearing..
i couldnt bear to see him losing appetite..
i jus wanted him to be happy like he is before..
i rmb how i chase him out of my room..
and i cried..
i rmb how he hug mi and i push him away..
i rmb how he pls mi don be like this..
my heart aches..
but he wasnt happy at all..
he wasnt prepared at all to commit his life into mine..
so i choose to let him go..
i finally realize..
all i did to him is my revenge..
jus becos i don think he deserve it..
but what he did wrong is mainly jus a slightest mistake..
he don love mi as much as i love him..
he mean the entire world to mi..
but i am jus half of his..
i wanted to tell him..
wanted to tell him i still love him..
but i might even lose the chance to see him..
jus becos of dion..
even is becos of dion..
i am contented wit the chances..
in case he forget..
forget about our love..
forget about our memorize..
in mi, i nv gonna let them go ever again..
he told months back..
i changed..
but he didnt realize..
he is the one turning his back to mi and didnt take a gd look at mi..
i am still there right behind him..
i am still the one who love and misses him..
i am still the one giving in all i can to him..
i am still the one who willing to be there whenever he needs mi..
the only thing i change..
is i become a independent and strong mum of dion's...
i have too, isnt it?
he don seems to understand..
jus becos in his life there is another her i guess..
someone who replaced mi long ago..
or rather to say..
i am the replacement for the someone..
well..
let not get into complication..
my wish for this yr, there is only one about him...
to forget him in this short period of time..
i jus wanna put all concentration in dion now..
even thou i know..
there is someone out there waiting for mi...
but i jus wanna stay right here wit him..
so don confess to mi..
if not there will be no friends to be..
xuemin