this few days, jus felt that.. everything jus reminded mi about their gd to mi..
i wanna hate them..
but apparently, i failed..
becos i cant nv talk sense to my heart..
well..
i know that they are nice to mi..
especially during pregnancy when their son jus throw mi aside like a clothes of his..
his reason was becos he cant accept being a dad at this age..
so he is still at this age, and why does he accepting my girl like nobody business..
his frenx told mi to give him time to see his change..
his frenx said he needed a longer time as he will nv gonna taste the toughest part of life..
is expected to have a car for him when he reaches the age of 18..
is expected that he olways has money in his pocket..
is expected that he wear new clothes and carry branded..
but what is not expected is dion in his life..
so why wouldnt he let mi and dion go when i pleaded him..
i don understand why things turn out this draggy..
i don understand why he force mi to grow when i was 18 and ties a string to mi..
i don understand what i did wrong to deserve all this..
jus becos i love him?
a yr throughout, i acted that i don love him.
to some ppl, my acting are gd..
but those who are closer to mi, they knows that i cant act at all..
becos there will olways be him in my words..
so many times i wanna let go..
so many times i wanna stay firm and see him fall..
i have alot of chance to take my revenge..
but is olways my heart..
nobody gonna understand how i feel.
as i said..
i use to respect his parent alot..
i love them like my own family..
but they are too controlling..
they didnt wanna give way to respect mi..
they didnt wanna let mi go..
they wishes mi to be the one who continue to stick to their son, jus hope one fine day mi and him will get married..
they wanted dion, but hurt my dad..
they say they love dion..
they say they dote on mi..
but they are olways protecting their son..
when their son did nth as a dad..
i still have to give in..
their son was the one who broke dion's family..
it was him who broke promise and lied to mi..
it was him who said he is not prepared..
it was him who made mi change..
it was him..
but they put the blame on mi when i jus wanted dion to stay by myside..
well..
what to do..
i am tired..
reali tired of the nitemare..
reali tired of them being like this..
so i jus wanted dion in my life..
how much i try, to them, is nv enough..
so why should i try to give in again?
i have a better future.. a even happier life with sweetheart..
baby dion is gonna read my blog when she grows up..
baby dion will see who is the one who gave in all..
who gave up all for her..
who works hard and be strong jus to exchange her smile..
i am not a gd wife, not a gd gf, not a gd girl..
but i am a gd mum..
no excuses for mi to be lazy..
becos everything i do..
there will olways be dion..
even i fall sick..
despite how tired i am..
despite all, for dion it must be a must..
i tattoo her name, not for fun..
not like her dad..
who claim that he love her..
but all he did was visit her once a week..
and that once was onli last then a 30 mins..
wtf is that..
jail visitation?
well..
nth more left to say..
becos to him, i am olways the immature one..
to him, i am olways the bad girl..
but to mi..
he is a useless dad..
so it makes him don deserve..
it makes mi gonna stay firm to protect dion..
dion growth nv awaits him..
dion is a very clever girl..
she learn to speaks when she was onli 9 months..
she walks when she turns 1yr old..
she listen to words when she is onli 9 months..
even childcare teacher praises her talented..
ppl see ppl know...
so obviously..
dion will know what is her dad doin all the while..
xuemin