force myself to blog today..
as it is the third time i ended thing wit him so clearly..
he dig about our past..
and i cant deny..
i reali miss him back then..
i cried..
i love him alot..
jus couldnt tell him about it..
he might feel disgusted..
he is right..
a girl like mi, wasnt someone who wanna spend his whole life wit..
he was right that god will punish mi..
but i will stand as firm and strong as i can jus to protect my dion..
till the day i die..
i will use my whole life to protect her..
i am nv a gd gf, nv can i be a gd wife..
but i am married to dion..
told him that i will know how to tell dion when dion grows..
i will say, "ur dad die when i jus had u in my tummy"
becos that is when he change and leave mi all alone copin thing..
i know dion will olso love her dad at that moment..
such a sweet guy, such a gd bf, and protects mi as he can..
i will nv forget..
all gd times we use to have..
but i will jus move on wit gd memories
i wish him all the best olso..
hope he can be able to find someone tha he can spend his life wit..
i hope he change one day realizing that he has to grow up..
i will change all my password..
i will change all my display pics..
i will change everything about u..
give mi another yr time to forget u..
give mi abit more time for my tears to stop falling..
the impact u gave is so huge..
i am sry, i have to be like this..
i am sry i have to change..
i am sry that i have to be firm and strong against my decision...
i am sry that i couldnt tell u how much i still love u..
i am sry to take dion away from u, but i reali need her..
i am sry that i has being harsh on u..
i am sry i lied..
i am sry to all that has happen..
i did what i said..
this time i will try my veri best to forget u..
forget ur phone number..
forget about how u look olso..
the veri least for ur sake, i can only take real gd care of dion..
i miss u, i will jus look at her..
i couldnt lose her..
becos losing her i will lose my whole self..
hope u will be able to get over it..
u can still be able to get another women pregnant and have another baby..
but i can afford to do that as i need to be a veri veri gd example for dion..
4 more days to go for west mall atrium..
i am veri tired..
but what to do..
yr end coming..
my wish for 2011 is dion and him to be healthy, to be happi..
and i can be able to forget him..
xuemin