was quite busy..
rather busy today..
when ppl tend to lose interest in something..
like my staff, she tender and wanted to return to her hometown to take a break le..
but totally lose interest in work now..
and i have to do alot of thing..
seldom go to white sand outlet..
but once go, headache here..
went far east outlet..
my staff there are alot better..
so didnt have alot of thing to do..
spend a bit of time, jus 10 mins..
lolx
went down to the fair, and bought clothes for dion again!
lolx
on my way home wit one of my staff..
after work we are frenx..
hahax
she was telling mi that my manager asked her, why i didnt wanna marry to dion's dad..
as my bosses went to his hse that day on dion bday celebration..
and their family is rich..
i explain..
becos he wasnt ready to face mi for eternity..
and it makes mi talk about the past again..
i am already missing him so badly..
but still, there is nth i can do to avoid..
i told her, i broke up wit him, not becos i don love him..
i wanted to marry him for the sake of our princess..
but i know that the certificate cant be as important as my happiness..
he told mi he is not ready to be a dad..
he told mi he is unhappi and stress..
he slim down alot at that time, it makes mi feel like i am forcing him..
so i let him go..
becos i wanted to see a happier him..
the one i love should be healthy too...
even after we broke up, he tried to hold mi back..
but i told him, i don love him animore..
i know he don believe..
becos one call from him, i am olways there..
he told mi this alot of time, "if u wan, we jus get married for the sake of baby"
i told him i don wan to get married..
but he asked mi this question for like 4 times after we broke up..
but we ended that way..
i told my staff..
if he is able to change to be a family minded guys..
acceptance is very easy.. becos he is the one holding the key to my heart..
but till he realize, i may be gone wit dion to another country to start anew.
that will be in yrs time..
i know that clearly..
that is why..
is a gd thing he doesnt know i am still here..
i am not waiting, i don wanna wait for him..
becos if i were to place my concentration in other thing..
like now, dion and work..
i won be upset in everything about him now..
i will be like now, smiling while thinking of his smile and missing his smell badly..
he is capable.. veri capable in messing my life up..
but somehow, i hvae got use..
i don need guys who dote on mi..
i don need guys who say they love mi..
but lying and betraying mi secretive and they thought i donnoe..
i don need guys who fucking use sex to be a "love token"
i don need guys who is useless and think i need to love him more then dion...
becos other then dion's dad..
no others guys can be able to make mi fall in love again..
i jus love him...
not becos he is clever..
not becos he is rich..
not becos he has a car..
not becos he is gd looking..
i love him even before i know he is rich..
i love him all becos i trust him..
he dote on mi too..
he showed mi he love mi before..
he jus doesnt love to sweet talk..
he jus feel silly if he give in to mi..
especially infront of his pals..
he wans mi to be there for him, that is why he will find excuse to make mi go over..
i trust him that is is able to be a veri veri gd daddy to dion..
even when i am not around..
i still can trust dion wit him..
as he too wans dion to have the best in everything..
babies drink onli milk and water..
my dion drink bird nest when she was in her 3rd month..
jus becos they wanted to give her what others babies don have..
and whatever memorize about mi and him..
can nv be replace..
we both love telling lies to each other..
my lies to him is, i don love him animore..
and his lies to mi is he is in love wit a girl that he love for 9 yrs..
he admit that he don means to say that to mi..
but he love mi when dion was jus born..
but i guess..
the love was till we had that argument..
and that..
haix..
no point sayin so much..
becos he nv gonna understand my heart..
i am gonna slp le..
veri tired..
gd nite..
xuemin