i am reali freakin idiot to reprimand my brother for being noisy.
jus becos he is pestering my mum to go to this outing for skool to a farm..
but the condition is to have a family member wit him..
i scolded him straight..
as i told him there is no one lookin after dion..
wtf am i doin..
i am onli thinking about what about dion..
but what about him..
i wanted to say sry..
but my ego abit stopping mi..
i noe i am in fault..
he jus wanted to go to explore about farm..
and i scolded him till i see his tears..
and now i cried jus becos he cry..
i am sry jun long..
jiejie love u too..
i had too much in work to vex about..
and i did warn u to stop mentioning about it..
i jus wanna peacefully eat up my first and last meal for today but u jus couldnt stop..
haix..
reali sry baby brother..
i am too selfish..
i am not a gd sister..
i will figure it out to let u go wit mum..
haix..
asked dion's dad wherede he can help mi look after dion for that few hrs..
but i know he need to work..
and i reali don wanna bother his mum about it..
as she will say i jus wanna make use of them..
maybe the best way is to take a leave and look after dion myself ba..
i had a long day in work..
without eating the whole day..
i have alot of thing to do..
today has to display new stocks.. and i have to run 2 outlets to help them..
and busy till finish work..
i am veri hungry and starving..
dion slept, so i couldnt see her..
i wanna tell her i miss her alot..
was thinking about alot of things..
especially him..
he still look as prefect to mi..
i feel nervous when we stood side by side..
i felt that i am nervous when u saw mi lookin to ur way..
i felt nervous when we have to be alone in a room wit baby..
and all i know was to get out of there as fast as i could..
i jus miss u alot..
i see and feel ur change..
and i guess u feel my change too..
we all have grown up in a yr..
i recalled back to the days, where u look into mi and smile..
u olways look the best when u smile..
and i am glad i seen the smile in u ystd..
jus becos of dion..
we both had such a hard time to put up an act infront of ur relatives and out frenx..
i have to greet ur relatives and frenx wit smile..
and u have to act like a better host for my frenx too..
and when we have to take a pic.. onli mi u and dion..
i wanted to say no..
but there are like so many ppl infront of us..
but well..
i fake my smile not becos i wanted too..
jus becos u are standing beside mi..
i miss the old days where u will wanna take picture wit mi..
i miss u in everyways jus like how u miss dion..
i have to admit that u nv step out of my heart..
all te bad hiabit of u seem to be the same..
u are lazy to tidy up ur room..
the onli time whereby ur room is clean is when i am staying in ur hse..
and i will tidy at least abit for u..
i saw the soft toy dog i gave u during 2009 valentine's day behind ur bed..
and i miss the time where we decide what to name the soft toy dog..
and his name is harley:)
when i throw temper and throw harley down to the floor, and jus wanted u to pick it up alot of times..
and u end up the one to be angry jus becos u said i will dirty harley..
and i have to hug u and say sry:)
u olways have ur ways to make mi listen to u and love u like the world is ending tml..
u hate it when i kiss u alot of times when we watchin tv..
but u will olways smile to be and ask mi to stop it..
but do u rmb all this times we had?
i shouldnt have go ystd..
becos it nv stop mi from drifting away from u..
i wanted to move away from u more instead..
so many thing changed..
memorize don seems to hurt mi now..
becos i smile when thinkin about u..
i jus hope i don get to see u again..
to distract my ways to get u out of my heart..
i know i won be able to do it..
the best way to avoid u is still goin overseas to work..
wit dion to start our new life..
till u get ur own partner to start ur own life.
the day i let u go... is the time where we end...
hope u will be as happi as dion's bday..
our heart as a mum and dad nv gonna change..
xuemin