i am back to blog..
wanted to slp..
but idk why..
jus feel that i wanna update my blog..
viewing through my pics jus now..
and it reaches to him..
the one who appear a nearly 2008 dec in my life..
i didnt realize i kept so much of his pics..
and i didnt delete..
is moved to another file in my lappi during my expecting period..
but now i found it..
and is been so long since i see him..
but even thou, even if, i don reali know what to talk to him..
is all about dion anit it?
i wonder will he be here on this comin wed..
when dion is celebrating her 1st lunar bday..
even if we are not tgt, i rmb clearly, we both promise to maintain a "gd rs"
especially infront of our girl..
but it seems like we fail..
i did ask myself, why mus i hate him so much..
he is suppose to be someone i love alot..
or jus becos i love him alot..
even the few months we are tgt his heart is not wit mi..
i still use to love him alot..
my revenge plan has already fail..
nv can i succeed..
becos i myself know the reason..
the gd times mi and him had, can nv gonna be replaced.
is best to be like this..
he olways come up my hse to see dion onli when i am not home..
is gd when we don meet each other..
is gd that we don stay in contact..
is gd that we remain stranger despite dion is around..
but somehow, i cant nv gonna deny, i love his smile alot..
he can be as bad to mi..
but somehow, i can nv hate him for all..
idk how he can manage to take control over mi..
but till now, he is the only person who can be able to do it..
well..
"everything is over le xuemin!"
"u choose it urself and nv regret.."
this is what i told myself..
but well..
i am jus missing the gd times he left mi..
memorize of him hunting mi the whole day today..
jus today i guess..
maybe is getting near to the time i met him 2 yrs back..
hope u are doin fine mr poh..
but if i had another choice, i will still choose to be alone..
becos all i wanted more is dion..
i am unlike other mummy i know..
i don feel is tough being a single mum..
becos i love dion alot..
well..
i am exicted by dion tml celebration..
but still i have to work in the morning..
so gd nite..
xuemin