off day! and spent the whole mornin and afternoon at home rotting..
well..
so i decide, i wanna bring dion out for a walk..
hahax..
is like so long nv bring her to town..
i am so happi today..
spent most of my time wit princess.
and the most happiest thing is, her top teeth is out..
but sadly, is not in the middle..
is beside the middle teeth..
dion is getting older everyday.
and i am getting older too..
not much energy to play wit her for the whole day alone..
i love her..
still as much when she is still in mi..
i have so much to tell her..
so many thx to her.
and so many kisses for her too..
as a single mum, the most i can give her is my full attention..
afterall, i am sry to say..
i spent more time in work then her..
but i will try..
princessdion.. mummy apologize for that..
i don wanna miss ur growth still.
i wanna u still rmb mi, and ask mi to carry u or even stick to mi..
sometime when i see she wanted my mum more then mi, i felt sad..
becos as a mum, i cant do anithing..
i will cry deep down in my heart and tell myself, "is ur fault okie"
i am not having a rs to cut down more of my time wit dion..
so baby kelvin, don ask for much..
dion need mi more then u..
becos she has to grow up in a single family which is onli mi for now..
no matter what gonna happen in future..
i have to be independent enough to bring her up wit my love..
if u said i am selfish..
yes..
i agreed..
but i nv asked u to wait and treat mi nice..
u can jus leave mi like those jerk which i don mind again get hurt..
but nv think of comin back into my life..
my selfishness is becos of dion..
i don wan anithing else..
except her..
things change after the second chance.
and it seems like hubby getting more sensitives then before..
and somehow, suffocating for mi as i am tied down by work recently too.
no point saying so much as mi and him had a gd talk..
but i knew somehow, the same thing gonna happen again..
i don like repeating myself again and again..
so for the next time thing gonna happen..
i might not be able to trust him again animore..
i noe it wasnt his fault trying to be sensitive..
but i rather i keep everything to myself..
like mi or not, i am like this..
betrayed by my mum..
betrayed by frenx which i trusted alot..
lastly, betrayed by my love ones before..
but not matter what ppl gonna say or criticize mi..
the fact i noe is i am who i am..
nv will i fall jus becos i live for myself and dion for my whole life..
maybe i live for dion even more then myself..
becos without her, or even if anithing gonna happen to her..
there won be mi animore..
the onli person in the whole world that will nv hurt mi is princess dion poh xiang qin..
mummy waiting for u to start ur first step to mi..
as she is now learning her balance..
11 months soon..
1 yr comin..
and deeply..
u will gonna be my one and onli sweetheart princess baby(: <3<3
xuemin