yea.
i am in mood to blog today:)
last week headed to hospital.
and doc say was syncope.
is a kinda illness that i might faint anitime.
but luckily is not fatal.
the onli thing was, there is no treatment yet.
so what i can onli do is to prevent.
doc too say, is not right for mi to drive when i have this illness.
cos if i were to faint, and i might get myself hurt then.
everyone in office was so gd to mi.
concern and care.
they was so forgiving about i having 2 days of mc and a half day leave last week.
so understanding.
and i am seriously liking to work here ler.
boss too was so gd.
and some taught mi what is the way to build up my body and ask ppl to give some advice.
although i am youngest here. but is jus like we are all a family.
has been stayin at home during weekends to paint on dion's baby cot.
from white to purplish red.
haax.
and my parent decide to have the cot in living room! hahahx.
becos when i am in work, and dion can stay outside to watch tv.
is safer compare to be in my room and on my bed without support.
she olways will wake up before i leave for work.
i love her so much.
early mornin, seeing her smile.
i feel so so gd.
i have sended out a early mother's day gift for dion's grandmum.
to thx her for everything she did.
no matter how unhappi or angry, i knew she has a heart of a mum who love and wanna protect her own son.
and i didnt forget how she help mi and took care of mi.
if it wasnt they showin mi that they wanna take dion away from mi.
i guess we won come to this stage whereby i hate them this much.
like as they say, jus don wan mi to be tired.
work and look after baby.
but as a mum, i don wan dion to leave my side.
even thou is reali tired.
but i did it!
all becos of dion.
i am happi, goi back home from work and see her smile.
play wit her and make her slp.
wake up from slp and she is there by my side.
i don wana miss ani of her growin stage.
i wanna be there every single moment.
i am not that useless, to look after her jus for one nite and miss my work becos i am tired!
i still report to work everyday.
yes, i am refering to that unless guy.
but aniway.
no point for mi to talk about him ba.
dion is gonna noe how her dad is.
and i am sure to tell her everything when she grows up in future. including when he asked mi to abort her.
he may feel regret in what he said. but is too late.
dare to do and bear the consequences.
all i wanted was to let her noe the truth first before she step into this society and noe how cruel is this world.
but no matter what.
i am sure, i will accompany her path till the day i hand her over to her husband.
and see her happi ever after.
i have promise to give her the best. and i will do a gd job as a mum.
don look down on a 19 yr old girl.
i grew up, becos i am force to grow.
but is gd this way.
at least i am not crying over there and regret on what i did.
life has to move on. .
dion is so gd in her flipping now.
and i feel proud to say. she is starting to crawl a lil by lil.
hahax.
so damn happi!
she is crunky.
if i step into my hse without greeting her first and walk into my room.
she will whine to get my attention.
and when i walk to her.
she will give a big smile or laugh.
so norti horx!
hahax.
my mum has been complaining that she drink milk onli when ppl carry her to walk.
and i will tell my mum. "serve u rite"
hahax.
becos she is the one who say "aiya, she finish her milk everytime i carry her to walk"
despite i told her many many time not too.
and see! hahax.
i guess dion weight is 6 kg now ler.
hahax.
as she has been drinkin alot more milk now.
maybe becos we add in cereal too.
and from 100ml is increasing to around 150ml ba.
and of cos.
she eat baby bites like 3 time a day! and i mean was 3 packets okie!
hahhax.
and those small tins of nutrient food i bought too.
is so fun.
hahax.
lookin at her growth i feel relieve.
thou her body is weak.
but i feel that, the more we think and things will happen.
so i choose to let natural take course.
she love to eat fish.
becos she will ask more from mi whenever i have dinner and there is fish.
hahax.
maybe trained out when i was preg ba! hahax.
so soon, my son-in-law gonna be 9 months.
and dion gonna be 6 months!
hahax.
bringing dion wit the accompany to apple and ayden to swim this comin sat!
i look forward as it is the first time i bringin dion out for swim!
hahax.
i am contented!
reali contented to my life now.
recently.
something amazing happen.
but i won say more here.
but i jus wanna say.
i lost faith in r/s.
although i am reali happi that somehow what i nv thought has happen.
i thought we are frenx.
and u wanna be more then a frenx.
is tough.
but i need assurance ba.
let us continue to be who we are now.
i mean frenx.
like and love wasnt the same.
everyone tells mi they like mi.
but love is to accept mi for who i am, etc. a single mum.
even if u say u don mind.
but i hate ppl opinion for this.
i need more time ba.
idk wherede he move out from my heart.
but i onli noe that it will gonna be so tough for u. if u reali wanna try mending a broken heart.
u are a gd guy.
whom i don deserve.
i am no longer the girl.
i am a women wit a baby.
dont put words into ur mouth so easily that u wanna make commitment.
like my tattoo.
the first tattoo i have is my life time commitment.
the sec one will and is gonna be my sec commitment which is my hubby in future.
and third one will be my last children wit my future husband.
i still trust one day.
i will meet a gd guy who love mi, love dion.
and there is gonna be this day whereby i will get married wit that guy without ani other reason, but he jus wanna be wit mi.
and have my sec baby.
before this gonna happen.
i reali hope to be single.
if not i can nv be seriously in ani r/s.
i am not trying to forbid myself.
but i jus don wanna get hurt.
r/s is such a dangerous game.
ppl die for it too.
which i don wanna be in this stage too.
i doubt guys can wait long to prove his love.
the most is 2 yrs.
and well.
god bro waited for mi for 3 and a half yrs?
okie ba.
i hope i make myself clear. and hope u see this post ba.
xuemin