woo~
didnt blog ystd..
was doin some hand over to yvonne at work.
and guess what.
tml mi and yvonne wit accompany of some of our collegue up to company ship for dinner and drink:)
i think will be the first and the last time i join this company event.
thursday i will needa take half day leave to bring dion down for her jab.
but she is havin a bit of coughing now:(
and whereby becos her mummy, which is mi!
i have cough! hahax.
hahax.
okie! my fault for kissing none stop.
but jus love it!
hahax.
nowadays if she see mi goin out or i didnt return home on time to carry her.
she will cry and cry!
ahahahx.
i love her lot lots! hahahx.
i wanna jus love her like this.
i am reali happi like this.
so contented:)
but recently she reali bullying mi.
becos she is taking up more of my space when slpin!
hahahx.
and if i close her legs and make her slp in a nicer way.
she will cry.
and i think best thing for mi to do is to slp my own side.
hahahx.
norti girl.
hahax.
drink milk half way, but see us eatin our own food she will wanna eat.
she will run in her walker to mi and ask mi give her eat.
hahhax.
more and more cute.
i hope for her to be more happier, more cheerful and even more healthy.
if makin a wish will shorten my life.
i am gonna wish all for her!
what i can do for her now is onli to give her my everything.
all the time i have.
all the money i can earn.
all the love i can give her.
and reminding will keep abit to him.
and that i am happi myself ler.
i no longer need branded stuff, don wanna have ex diamonds or ring.
i don wanna eat gd food.
i don wanna have the best thing.
but i will wanna give her all.
is reali kinda tough.
but at least i am not alone.
nobody gonna love dion more then mi.
becos i am the one goin through everything and suffer for her.
despite knowing i will endangered my life being preg to her.
i still did it.
all i wan is her by myside.
i swear if anione wanna take her away from mi.
i will kill the person!
hahax.
i am jokin.
what can i do ehx!?
gonna go to family court this comin sat.
to have some things done.
which i won wanna say here.
when it is settle then i will say.
hmmmm.
wanna noe, ask mi!
hahahx.
and jus gotto noe.
tml nite is goin on a cruise not a ship!
hahahx.
woo~
so happi.
hahax.
i suddenly had a feeling of being evil and nasty again.
i noe is kinda bad.
but i jus wan baby to belong to mi fully.
and since the family cant agree to my terms.
i will jus do what i wan
i mainly jus wan a simple respect as a mum of dion princess.
am i too over?
idk.
will dion blame mi?
but i think dion don like them too ba.
i am sure, one day. when dion get to noe all thing.
she will understand my feeling.
even if how much god doesnt dote on mi.
or even my parent.
but i noe i am standing strong alone.
worst thing is yet to arrive.
idk wherede i am able to take it anot.
but all i understand is equally compare to mi and mr poh jd.
i am alot more braver.
goin through so much shit in my life.
rmbering my childhood.
been caned by my mum when i was top 2 in my class in primary 4.
jus becos didnt do a gd job in getting first.
but younger sis was so much luckier when she was the last few in class.
she wasnt caned.
from that time onwards i told myself that i will not wanna study hard.
reach my secondary school
i turn to a bad girl where my parent nearly gave mi up.
but still all rite.
as to no matter how bad i am, i didnt take drugs.
but luckily i met a veri gd friends.
they are mature and taught mi how to be a better person.
sec 3 when i changed. my new principle don trust mi.
she gave up and thinks that i am a bad student.
and sec 4 quit school jus becos she scolded my mum not be able to do a gd job in teachin her daughter.
and i scolded the principle and told her "i don wanna study in ur fuckin school"
stayed home for a few months before goin out to work.
and work reali hard to get promoted and dote by the boss.
at the age of 17 i becoms a supervisor in the job.
and half yr later a manager.
earning a income of 2k plus.
met all kinds of guys who wanna be wit mi jus becos i am pretty and wanna have sex wit mi.
but i thought i protected myself well.
but one fine day.
i was rape by a guy whom i feel irritated now to think.
a guy who is a friend of my bff.
in my bff hse.
i didnt cry.
but trap myself up in my hse for a few days.
month later seeing the guy outside and i hide myself behind my gf as i feel scare but cant be able to do anithing
becos i don wan my gf to be in a difficult position.
i did think of sueing him.
but i didnt.
i noe was tupid.
that is why i learn.
i kept numb. from my parent.
and when i have a ex who reali dote on mi helped mi scold that fuckin guy when we met him on a regular pub.
and thing like this happen.
i still able to hang on.
i seriously don understand that why some girls who will feel so damn down when they are out of love.
becos i went through so much fuckin stuff and i am able to hang on.
after all this.
i met baby dad.
thought he is the angel send down to mi from god.
but no.
my suffering doesn end.
so if ani one of u will come tell mi that ur life is fuckin even miserable then mine.
i have nth to say.
i am at the age of 19 now.
and fuckin 19.
can u imagine that i have my own dreams and all.
but at 18 i have to give up.
becos someone needed mi more then ever.
i cant imagine if she leave mi too.
i might not be able to live like now.
so protecting her.
loving her as much.
thou i noe. i still cant let go.
let go of someone who no longer love mi.
but i am still happi like this.
so pls ladies.
i am not sayin that u all could be the same like mi.
but i jus hope u all try to be strong.
love wasnt everything.
i am damn so damn irritated by sex, rs and so call love.
wake up girls!!!
xuemin