first of all the most important thing i have to announce!
HAPPI 6TH MONTHSARY TO DION PRINCESS!
she is growing well.
and i am so proud of myself that throughout the 6th month, i have done my best to learn how to be a gd mummy.
the road down is still long.
but i promise i will walk wit her alone.
no matter how she gonna be in future.
she is my daughter!
CHIN XUEMIN'S PRINCESS.
awww! i reali reali love her.
i don mind sayin 100X everyday as long as she don get sick and tired of mi saying.
mummy reali reali love u alot!
from when i first noe i have u.
from the veri first time i met u through scans.
from the veri first time i feel ur heartbeat.
from the veri first time that u kick mi.
from the veri first time i have to brave to go into operation room.
from the veri first time i see u.
from the veri first time i carry u.
from the veri first time mummy kisses u.
i noe u are my life.
i nv thought i will be a mummy.
i nv thought things happen so fast whereby i am still young.
but i nv nv regret.
nobody is gonna take u away from mi.
and nobody is gonna replace u!
i will continue to give u my best.
i will continue to try hard to learn to be mature.
i will continue to be a better mum.
i make my way till now is all cause of u.
i wanna see u crawl and s to mi every mornin.
i wanna hug u to slp every nite.
i wanna kiss u everytime i see u.
i wanna to wait till the day u learn to call mum.
and the day u walk to mi and hug mi.
i won wanna teach u the word "dad"
becos he don deserve!
even grand parent, i will teach u what is AUNT AND UNCLE!
i have decide.
mummy is such a bad woman before.
but i will try my best to correct ur path as i have grown.
even if u might lead the same life wit mi.
i will nv be like my own mum, siding others and blamin u!
i promise i will stand by u!
all u have to do is to be safe and sound.
lead a happi life.
this is what and all i ask from u!
okie!
the 2nd thing i have to announce is i am attached.
thou i reali don feel that is a veri rite time.
becos i wasnt prepare.
things seems so diff.
but i think i like my bf.
idk.
i jus feel so numb.
i donnoe if i can compromise wit things bf ask for.
but i reali trying not make him feel insecure.
i don like to be force to do thing i reali don wan too.
i don like to be tied.
i noe u won.
but i am telling u becos i reali cant compromise.
i don wanna give in all.
i am timid, i don dare.
i feel so scare.
is all becos i was so hurt by him.
i noe i shouldnt have brought the past feeling up to the nest one.
but i jus feel. ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME!
i reali trying to trust u.
u told mi u won hurt mi, u told mi u wouldnt lie to mi.
but how ong can u keep the promise.
i don intend to walk long wit u.
becos i noe.
one day, either mi or u will give up.
i am sry baby if i hurt u sayin this.
u rmb u asked mi today mornin. gfs or bf more important.
u said i can onli choose one. i couldnt give u an answer.
is cos i can onli say. both are important.
without my gfs. xuemin won be here now.
but i reali don need a guy to survive.
so even if u wanna tell mi u wanna leave myside.
i won even wanna hold u.
u said u won mind what ppl were to said.
but how long can u tolerate.
u have ur temper.
i have mine.
i hope u can adapt to my life and understand that frenx are so damn important to mi.
i reali wanted a bf who can mix well wit my frenx.
becos i don wanna be in a difficult position.
and i noe.
if anitime, anithing will gonna happen!
i will forsake u for my frenx.
i donnoe wherede u can accept my words now.
but all i wanna say that frenx are important to mi.
if u reali love mi. don make my life difficult by asking mi this type of qn again.
i will be real faithful.
i won lie to u.
and i will try my best.
to make u feel happi.
i am sry baby.
but i am true to u.
well.
to all my friends!
CHIN XUEMIN promise that i will nv gonna ditch anione of u!
apple, emily, cheryl, germaine, yvonne.
especially to u all.
i swear my whole life to be true and love u all.
becos when i needed u girls.
u all are there for mi.
apple, i hope u trust mi.
i reali feel so hurt about what u said in facebook ystd.
i feel so terrible that i cried in office.
i love u! i reali do.
we knew each other not long.
but i trusted u to be a veri gd and true frenx to mi.
when i was alone during pregnancy.
i have u.
when i wanted ppl to talk to.
i have u.
when i was goin through pains and suffering.
i have u.
do u noe how much i wanna tell u that i reali treasure this friendship.?
pls curse to mi to died if i forsake u girls.
unless u all don need mi if not i will be there:)
to dion princess, baby aaron, and friends! especially apple who don feel secure enough.
i love u all.
give mi time to learn how to put u all inside my life.
baby aaron, give mi more time okie.
becos all the while i have frenx and dion by myside.
but as i tell u. if aniday u feel tired.
wanna leave. jus let mi noe.
i will not hesitate becos i wanted u to feel happi.
xuemin