baby dion fever has come as i predicted.
thought if i don mention she won have fever.
but it reali show how weak is her body.
her immune system is not high like others baby.
is my fault.
mummies olways will blame ourself more ba..
she has like sensitive nose too.
but this is reali becos of mi and her dad has such a sensitives nose.
if i could get preg again.
i seriously swear i will watch my diet and eat healthy and foods that are gd for mi and baby.
i hope she will be fine.
abit worry.
makin mi cant slp when i am tired..
but what can i do?
can onli observe her.
wake up in the middle of the nite to take her temp.
she tend to be real crunky..
i put her in her sarong. but she tossing here and there.
so carry her up to sing song to her to coax her to slp.
and finally. 30 mins later.
she slept ler..
sometime is reali tough.
work and her.
i may get use to life without entertainment.
but i jus doesnt get my efficient slp.
i am like havin fever every month.
and till now i am still coughin.
what can i do ehx?
as i say, sometime reali kinda envy others.
there is ppl who is able to help them look after baby.
their husband who is able to wake up at nite to share the burden.
enough money to put baby wit a nanny.
or even nice parent in law..
but alot jus don treasure the life they are enjoying..
i shall not complain!
becos is all my own choice.
i wanted to look after her myself..
i admit, i am veri over protective.
but tell mi how should i not be like this when she is my onli precious and her body so weak.
i rmb, dion's grandmum told mi once.
"if u put dion wit others care, her health will be better"
and i will olways think and reflect.. wherede is my own fault?
is it i reali donnoe how to take care of a baby, so she is olways sick?
but what if she is under other care, and keep crying to find mi..
and what if she get sick as usual?
idk.
i don reali wanna get effected..
becos i jus wanna use my own way to bring her up.
no matter how she gonna be under the care of mi.
i don have to answer to anione.
i jus gotto answered to myself..
i am reali sorry to say..
i reali don wish to get involve wit that family..
i hate the thoughts of them comin my hse and trying to play wit my princess when she is not close wit them.
but i reali donnoe what should i do to be the best for mi and dion.
my heart is telling mi not to go to family court tml to have things done..
but somehow my mind is urging mi to go..
haix.
i reali donnoe what should i do then is best for mi..
i am tired. but cant reali rest..
gonna try...
gd nite:)
xuemin