gotto noe a veri shockin news about two of my frenx.
condolence to yvonne and her
i suddenly feel life so weak.
this weak that we haben had the chance to cherish before we noe we gonna lose it.
is so hard to accept.
so heartbreakin.
and this is when i rmb.
my veri first baby.
how is he now.
i couldnt stop thinkin.
i noe i shouldnt.
but if time could return! i reali hope to live wit him.
i am so sorry baby.
so sorry to my baby boy, prince jayken.
is mummy fault.
so wrong! slap myself for this.
are u cold up there. is been a yr baby.
how are u.
come back to mi pls.
have u been reincarnated or u still waiting?
can u tell mi which family are u in? can u let mi noe.
i promise if i can, i will do anithing for u too.
at the age of fuckin 17! i lost u.
jus before my bday.
can u imagine it changes my life.
i can nv forget and forgive myself for this.
feel like slappin myself so much now!
and is funny when ur daddy don even have a hard feeling for u.
but i am sure, is enough to have mummy rite.
like ur sis.
mummy is livin well wit her.
maybe daddy doesnt reali show out the love for u two.
but he may love u too.
i feel like breakin down and cry out loud that i am reali sorry.
no one gonna understand my feeling.
i too wishes to fight for ur right to live.
but war wit god is tough.
i had nv been so down before.
so down that i reali feel like killin myself.
what an amazing life i lead after i met ur daddy.
till now. nth seems gd.
give mi a break.
i am heading down to yvonne side tonite wit apple, qi and koek leong.
loves seems so sad and make mi feel like crying wit her too.
i am not a cry baby.
but is becos i love babies and i love my frenx or whoever is wit mi.
jus wanna let them noe.
u all de pain i understand.
don keep everything to urself.
anithing could jus tell mi.
i am willing to share the burden.
xuemin