blog become veri meaningless after privating.
tml is my princess 5th month! she is growin up well.
spare abit of time today mornin jus to look at her slp.
compare to her newborn. she is so big girl now.
it olways make mi flash back to how i wanted to have her so much.
i fought for her life wit him.
and end up i lost everything.
but is kinda worthy.
seeing her grow everyday.
maybe welcomin her first tooth, her first crawl or even the veri first time i wanna hear her call mi a mummy.
i love her.
i change so much for her.
for a veri outgoin girl.
a girl who olways wanted freedom more then anithing.
a girl who olways wanted to live the way she wans.
and now. settling down my life wit her.
i nv regret everything.
i am thankful i have her.
ever since he asked mi to abort this lil life.
i noe he wast the right guy.
so i have slowly gave up that he will be wit mi forever.
being a single mum is not easy.
reali kinda tough.
but i couldnt complain.
jus workin hard and hope one day baby will understand why i wanted a broken family for her.
if i can choose. i will still choose the same path.
but this time round, i won even contact them from the start.
but is too late.
all i can say.
is tough handling r/s wit that family when dion is here.
ppl may not like mi. may not love mi or even find fault in mi.
but i am this straightforward, and i am this cruel jus becos i accepted the life that i don wanna live.
is so realistic and unfair.
every word i say to all my frenx, all advice.
is true.
i have alot of veri gd bff!
reali gd ones.
they re the ones accompanyin mi throughout the toughest time my life ever was.
they are the ones who been helpin mi so much whenever i need them.
the ones that i reali so thxful to have them by myside.
they accepted mi for who i am.
they love mi as who i am.
i jus love them as much too! i can lose everything in my life.
but now, dion and my frenx means more then ever.
i am soso different from other single mum.
i olways wanted myself to be proud of what i did.
and yes.
i am proud of who i am.
wanted all attention on my dressin, or even my character.
as a single mum, i am kinda stepping into the 2nd stage now.
now is earnin more jus for my princess.
in order to bring her for an holiday on my 21st bday.
the most i can do is to work and work.
i can eat lesser, but NV will i say no to my girl needs.
xuemin