woo~ realise my blog so quiet. without ppl taggin mi.
hahax.
hmmm.
dion is still sick.
and she turns out to be real pampered!
i don think she is able to take her 3rd month jab.
but i think would still bring her go as her daddy is too havin a whole body check up booked on the same day.
hahax.
and alot of ppl has been askin mi.
"how is u and junde?"
and it is reali over.
he said he had no feelin for mi ler.
and i noe, no matter what, i still gotto move on.
and ya.
i think i am numb ler.
baby princess is still our mediator.
i am too slowly letting go of dion for her own gd.
she is too use to have mi around.
so what if i were to start work?
and i bring her to her dad hse to stay durin weekends.
and end up, i still go to his hse like everyday once?
hahax.
jus becos dion don drink her milk till i reach.
i feel rather tired when she is so use to have mi around.
but i miss her alot too.
when she is not by my side at nite, i couldnt even fall aslp.
despite stayin late wit frenx.
and early in the mornin i would rush to her dad hse to find her ler.
this is the bond of mi and her ba.
and soon.
maybe after new yr?
she will be movin over to her dad hse ler.
as to cos i have to work as soon as i get one.
and my mum becomes so irresponsible.
she keep goin out and leave mi alone lookin after baby.
i mean yes, is my job.
but she is showin mi that she cant stay still at home jus to look after dion.
and i can imagine even thou i told her not to bring dion out.
she would secretly jus bring her out without my permission.
and what IF anithing happen to dion, who is gonna answer to mi?
so i have decided to ask junde ah ma to move over to his hse and help us look after dion.
i mean, maybe that is the best way.
i too hope she can stay wit mi.
but i cant even concentrate on workin if she stay at my hse.
but is okie la.
i could drop by every day after work jus to see her.
will be abit tiring for mi too.
but i reali cant stay through a day without seein her.
is still so difficult for mi to get a job.
i am findin and lookin.
i could start low and work hard again.
jus hope i can have a chance ba.
new yr is comin, and i dont intend to go hse visiting this yr.
becos i know, my relative is gonna start their lecturin again.
"why don wanna get married?"
"why baby surname go wit them?"
"why so tupid?"
or even say thing to hurt my princess.
is veri hard to face them.
some are nice but most are not.
they will onli say i am a disgrace.
but they didnt noe, if i were to abort baby that time, i am shameless bitch!
haix.
is so so difficult.
but to mi dion is nv a secret.
i reali hope every of my frenx, relative could accept her, and love her as who she is.
where else, even baby is their family first grand daughter.
she is kept as a secret.
cos their family can nv accept gossipin and argument.
i understand.
but can dion understand?
when she grow up?
mummy can onli say sorry.
is a broken family.
but trust mi, daddy and mummy still by ur side.
hao ba.
tml i will update her pics.
xuemin