this post will be kinda a random post.
after nearly gonna be a yr.
09th march 2009.
i loses my veri first baby where i onli have him for a few days in mi.
i cried for this baby once again.
i blame myself alot of the lost.
thou junde didnt blame mi.
but is all my fault.
all becos of thoses spicy food that i crave alot.
i neglect my diet and he dies.
i have alot to tell that poor baby.
but afterall, mummy is sorry.
sorry to put a stop to ur lil life to see the world.
i didnt forget u.
reali hope to have u back.
have u seen ur lil sister?
have u been livin well.?
have u been missin mum and dad?
where are u?
are u happi?
do u blame mummy?
i reali reali sorry.
i rmb how i drown myself in alcohol for weeks.
i rmb how i cried at nite jus missin u.
i rmb how i quarrel wit ur daddy jus becos i am too bad tempered.
i rmb how i cried when the doc told mi that "i'm sorry, ur baby is dead"
is till ur lil sis appear in my life, and i fought her rights to live wit ur daddy.
the lost of u is the image of dion.
but mummy can nv gonna stop blamin myself.
is my whole life regrets.
like what i told ur daddy ystd nite.
how gd if u are wit us?
can u come back to mummy once!
my love for u is nv gonna be ani lesser then ur lil sis.
baby, pls be safe and come back to mi.
u noe mummy nv stop missin u.
let mi be able to hug u tight in my dreams,
let mi be able to kiss u like i kissed ur lil sis.
let mi be able to talk and sing and play wit u.
let mi noe u nv blame mi.
let mi noe u are livin well in another world.
let mi noe u are olways here wit mi and ur baby sis.
i am sorry baby.
i wanna do something for u.
can u come back to mi?

xuemin