well well.
i had jus finish watchin jia hao yue yuan!
the best drama i have ever watch.
so nice to have such a warming family by urside.
supporting u, love u and joke wit u.
no matter happily, cry, or even bad thing happen.
family is olways wit u.
watchin this show, it tells mi that
no matter how much money u are gonna have, maybe even more then u are able to spend for ur whole life.
but kinship can nv nv gonna buy wit money.
treasure ur family is more important.
frenx nv stay by urside, there are chances of them betraying u, hurting u.
but family nv leave u.
everybody should watch it ba.
back to myself.
having slpness nite again.
ystd qi and qun came back to acc mi for dinner.
and mac again!
hahax.
cos 10 plus nth else to eat ler.
eat abit full.
ivy, benson, qunbo and weijie came.
ivy headed home early. cos she not feeling well.
then the rest of us went triple 8 to buy food and came back my hse.
4 guys playin mahjong.
qi and mi spend time watchin funny videos online.
finally met weijie after so long.
grow fatter ler la!
but he and benson keep rubbing my tummy.
hahax
worst thing is they comparing the size of their tummy to mine!
hahax.
weijie says suddenly see mi, tummy and breast bigger ler.
lolx.
don care about him la.
he dirty minded!
hahax.
his girlfrenx didnt come.
donnoe why.
hahax.
thou they all left my hse early at 6.30am
but i onli lie down to rest at 12pm.
reali donnoe why cant slp!
then woke up by my tupid mum at 2 plus.
makes no different ba.
so till now.
no slp.
and i didnt eat anithing today.
except for 2 cups of milo, 1 cup of tea and 1 cup of choco milk.
no appetite.
so no choice.
baby still kicks alot.
and she has been popin out either left or right side.
norti girl!
hahax.
she reali kinda like xueqi ba.
hahax.
she allow her to feel her.
jus like how much she allow mi to touch her.
hahax.
baby dion, mummy reali loves u.
i have been talking to her as in "secrets"
but i kinda feel that she misses her daddy.
i am not kiddin okie!
is not that i wanna see him.
but when i speak to her about daddy
she will jus stop her kicks and i will feel abit upset for no reason.
babies understand what we tell them de.
especially my norti girl dion.
i asked her something.
"if mummy give up u and let daddy to have u, will u hate mummy?"
she stops kickin, and i will cry.
i don mean it de la.
but idk what i can do to make her happier ler.
i can nv get her a daddy animore.
but her daddy could still get another mummy for her.
but i am scare, scare that the women don like her.
scare that the women will beat her.
i am scare to hear her calling ppl mummy.
but i seriously jus wan her to be happi.
everybody will love dion too de.
cos she is my precious.
my buddies, frenx and family are waiting for her to be out.
cos they noe she is gonna be in a single family.
thou i am reali reali suffering now.
i feel reali tired.
eyes swollen.
and i have slight fever since evening.
backaches and headache.
but i swear i am hanging on for the sake on natural birth.
if i my conditions continues to worst.
i guess dr lee will keep mi in hospital till baby is mature to be out.
that will be 36-37weeks.
and put dripping and wait for c-sec.
what else can i do to be better.
daddy has been veri worry till he call qi to force mi to eat.
but reali sorry.
i am not stubborn, jus that i reali don feel like eatin.
even i stand up and walk to toilet i feel that i am so weak.
i couldnt blame baby.
i jus blame it on myself.
i hope she wasnt suffering in mi.
i hope she is comfortable still.
jus let mi alone go through this.
don let dion to suffer.
i guess i can reali move on now.
i am able too ba.
he has alreadi made his choice for his own life.
i cannot be so shameless and stick to him too.
like this, without contacting, without seeing each other.
i guess this is the best we can do ba.
after baby out.
chances of thinkin about him too become lesser and lesser.
and slowly love fade and become strangers.
i will be changing my password of all my accounts tml.
i will delete every pics we talk, do a hse keepin and dump everything about him including his shirts.
i will throw this nitemares to wait for my princess to ring mi gd memories.
i will do what i promise, i will nv gonna disturb him animore.
not to ask and talk about him!
i will nv gonna mention about him when tgt wit his parents too.
if i were to see him outside, i will turn back and walk the other path.
i will.
xuemin