i jus feel so tired,
donnoe why ehx.
mi and baby back in my own hse.
didnt notice i could reali slp throughout the whole nite.
that 2 nites in daddy hse.
we all slept at 11pm.
and i will olways wake up at 2am.
cos baby kickin mi till i couldnt slp.
at her daddy hse so norti
cos mummy won scold her there ma!
hahax.
i had onli a small packet of honey stars.
so hungry.
but nth to eat ler.
i didnt go down kkh take report today again.
veri slpy.
and donnoe why, stomach abit painful.
i jus couldnt stop yawnin!
ystd i had a nice chat wit sam.
he was veri nice.
idk why.
but somehow i feel is not my life
doc are gathering my report.
jus in case anithing would happen to be during labour, they are prepared
onli my twin sis's blood is suitable for mi.
my blood type is rare enough to find.
so hope jus within this two months plus, they may be able to prepare enough.
if elder sis is pregnant, i couldnt take her blood too.
daddy is 50 ler.
somemore smokin, so donnoe about his health.
junlong is too young.
mum is o type.
is this is my fate, i accept it ler.
i jus wanna live my life that i am happi.
but since babii left mi, i had nv been happi ler.
onli ystd appt wit daddy and baby.
but i had promise daddy, i will try, try to return to the cheerful mi.
i don wanna choose c-sect.
i wan natural birth.
so hopefully ...
baby princess, nobody love u like mummy do.
mummy fail to give u a proper family, but i jus could give u a life of ur own.
no matter what is goin to happen, as long as u are safe.
i don need ppl reminding mi about my chances of livin.
i am scare, reali scare.
but i will try.
nobody owe mi anithing
i too don wan daddy or baby to blame themself if anithing might happen.
is a mummy jobs to protect her love ones.
my onli regret is onli i couldnt see my princess.
xuemin