now a short post before mi and baby princess hop on to bed=)
my cough is slightly abit better after 2 weeks!
but ulcer in my mouth.
that means my body is still quite heaty.
i am actualli skipping ren sheng fen and those tonics for the past few days ler.
and of course plain water.
and seriously, i think i jus needa get a nice name for baby myself lerx.
mi and daddy jus cant compromise in baby english name.
he onli like "meris"
while i jus feel weird.
unless daddy could be gd to compromise mi to get another name.
is a few months more to the arrival my precious lil princess.
mummy cant wait to see u baby.
today a few things that made mi quite unhappi again.
1st is about food!
my mum is cookin the same thing for like 2 or 3 times a week.
i am hungry but die die olso don wan eat food that she cook.
end up cookin congee for mi and baby dinner myself.
wasnt so bad la.
but reali could be nicer.
the other thing is.
quarreling wit dad today again.!
haix.
yes, is about wherede i should go pasir ris stay anot lor.
he cares, i understand.
but i jus hope to be alone.
i have been havin slpness nite and nitemares since a month ago
onli on the two days at daddy hse.
but seriously, i am veri tired.
haix.
dad jus don understand.
the way u all carin and loving mi is hurting mi more.
i did not have enough slp.
cos i slept at 5 plus in the mornin ystd.
and woke up at 9 plus.
as benson is still in my hse.
i couldnt reali slp well.
but he went home at 12pm
and till now i think i am reali reali tired.
baby is kickin mi alot today.
cos i didnt eat much today.
a piece of small cake, 2 slices of bread, and 2 small bowl of congee.
my meal for today.
i and havin a lot of thoughts today.
fearin alot of things.
i donnoe when did i become so timid.
i am actualli thinkin about the chances of mi surviving after birth again.
which i promised not too.
but it suddenly become a qns for mi.
my health did improve abit.
but that doesnt means nth is gonna happen to mi.
i am too fearing the pain of labouring.
maybe i would request my younger sis to be in labour ward wit mi ba.
i jus need someone by myside at that point of time but not alone.
i am olso fearing of being a mother.
i don have confident of being able to be a gd mum.
is jus like.
i am onli 18 yrs old ma.
can i?
i am fearin that ppl might take princess away from my side.
if daddy were to have a new gf, will baby love her more then mi?
will baby stick to her more then mi?
i don wan baby to get close to daddy gfs in future
not even for them to spend even a min tgt.
but will daddy secretly lie to mi and let baby meet his gfs?
baby belongs to mi.
i hope daddy could understand.
am i being too selfish here again?
i jus know that i am in a bit mood swingin today.
is normal for pregnant womens to have mood swing de la.
maybe is too becos i am slpy lerx.
nite everybody=)
i love baby princess lots.
xuemin