apple is in hospital and her baby is born at 12.08pm today.
i was chattin wit her ystd nite on the phone talkin about the pain of labouring.
joke wit her about it.
say i still have chance to say "i don wanna give birth ler"
hahax.
but of course la.
i will never gonna abort my baby.
did everything for her
change for her.
and sacrify every single thing i use to have for her.
only reason is cos i love her.
in my whole life.
i nv regret in anithing before.
i had a bad childhood life.
mum love xueqi(younger sis)
dad dote on xueting(elder sis)
my childhood nv been good.
no matter how my result was in skool,
mum olways beat mi cos she feel i didnt try harder to get 1st
while xueqi nv get beaten up when she get the last.
when everybody is enjoying their primary 5 and 6 life.
i am at home helpin mum do all sort of housework.
and is when my brother is born.
and helpin my mum look after my brother.
even at nite, everybody is slpin cos skoolin the next day.
can u all imagine that i wake up at nite to feed my brother
till finally, the only person who dotes on mi a lil in this family is my elder sis.
she started to bring mi out to join them playin basketball.
and my first trip down to orchard is olso idea of my sis to bring mi down to see the world
when i need her she is there for mi.
so i told myself, when i grew up.
i mus thx my sis alot for helpin mi.
without her, my secondary skool life might change my whole life.
she discipline mi alot.
but still sec 1 and 2 life sux!
at that time, i jus wanna play and be a veri bad girl which made alot of ppl dislike mi.
even some of my girl frenx (jayda, ivy)
when we first met, we nv been able to talk like now.
i am counted one of the bad girls in skool
principle showed mi my "files"and is thicker then double english textbook.
and discipline master hates mi alot.
becos i love to find trouble.
but finally.
when sec 2 life finally ended, i started workin in a factory in yishun(YS1 factory)
wit a group of veri nice korkors and a veri nice jiejie(amy)
i mention korkors is cos there is alot of guys and their age is much more older then us.
at that time i was onli 14.
and their age gap is between 21-25hahax.
and amy was 35 yrs old but not married so i called her jiejie.
hahax.
they taught mi alot of thing.
and when skool reopens.
i changed.and in skool,
i was one of everybody topics."xuemin/sofina change so much"
and yes.
i started to work harder for myself.
love myself and frenx more.
and become mature alot.
thou studying.
but workin part time jus to earn my own pocket money.
and that is when mum and dad started to notice mi more.
i rmb whenever i have money that time,
i olways bring mum and dad out to eat and buy thing for them.
that is what i could afford olso.
and till sec 4 life, the new principle joined us.
and she sux!
she dislike mi so much that she sucessfully made mi quit skool life.
but after that,
i continue working.
and straight away join RACHAELG company.
and i was well like by everybody there.
they all treat mi like own daughter.
cos i am the youngest one.
hahax.
and my workin life was so happi at first.
till i was promoted to supervisor half a month later.
my 16 yrs old, i am proud to say.this is my hardwork=)
i rmb i was wit the bastard(keith)and soon after,
i broke off wit him.
thou 1 yr tgt.
but i am not sad at all cos after that i met a fews veri gd guy(lennard,sam,derrick,prince,terry,bryan)
and i am happier without keith.
so my life started to be so prefect that i ask and wanna have more.
i am a prefectionist.
whenever i say anithing, i will do it and complete everything.
even my job given.
i nv allow relationship to effect my workin life.
and of course thou busy, i nv forget about all my partners, and frenx.
everyday my life is like so well planned and prefect.
and about 8 months later, i was promoted to a manager.
and started to be more firm in my work.
as i needa start teachin and training staff.
and looks after outlets to outlets and even entertain bosses!
is tired thou.
but after the last relationship that i didnt treasure.
i met baby daddy.
and since i am wit him.
my life changes.
is a big change till my life is almost control by him.and ended up.
yes 3 months later.
i am pregnant wit my baby girl.
actualli.
jus a few weeks before i found out i am pregnant wit baby princess.
i was sick and went to see doc before i head to work.
cos bleedin from below, fever and feel veri weak.
yes, i had a miscarriage before that.
i didnt noe i had the baby.
all i noe is baby was onli a few days old and baby die cos i didnt noe.
i blame myself alot.
and onli closer frenx noe.
of course, baby daddy noe it.
i was veri upset that i even went to drink and cry alot of times to daddy and frenx.
but i think is fated ba.
i am given another chance to be a mother.
and i didnt wanna lose it at all.
i treasure life more then ever.
i knew baby exsisting in mi, so no matter what i fought for her life.
i knew i will lose daddy.
but i still wan her out.
and till now.
even daddy had accept baby.
even he said he love baby.
but he nv do anithing for baby before.
for mi, i noe i still love him.
but is fading.
cos again and agin he disappoint mi alot.
he hurt mi alot of times.
and apologise everytime after he hurt mi.
thou break ler.
but he still noe i will give him chances.
so he took mi for granted now.
i had a few quarrel wit him even after we broke up.
is all becos of baby.
we nv use to quarrel so much.
cos i have a veri gd temper to torelate his bad temper.
and i did try to give in to him and he will olso.
but now cos of baby.
again and again.
we quarrel.
i feel so tired giving in to him ler.
so in the evening, i had alreadi told him that finally i want nth to do wit his family and him too.
cos our conversation was sort of he will nv gonna admit that to everything that has happen,
he is partly in fault.
and it hurt mi again when he say,
i am the one ruin his life.
i stole his frenx and about baby,
he feel i am stressin him too much.
who ruin whose life and who is stressin who.
weijun, yeesheng, koek leong, zhao min, weng hei
do u all wanna say something too?
throughout my expecting period till now.
daddy, do u noe why u are so free and relax.
why nobodi ever reprimanded u for throwin everything to mi?
and why everybody stops talking and mentioning mi and baby stuff infront of u when i am not around.
i cried quarrelin wit my parents plsin them to leave u alone.
i cried telling ur parents not to force u to do anithing and not to talk to u anithing.
i have told all ur frenx that i don wan them to stop contactin u becos of mi.
but infact u are the one isolating urself from them.
after today quarrel, seriously i give up lerx.
wit baby by myside, i reali don wan anithing to do wit u lerx.
thou u said "give both of us some times to cool down"
yes we needa cool down.
but i will nv gonna accept u back into mi and baby life,
and giving u chances again and again.
i olways trust u.
rmb?
since we tgt till now.
i trusted u so much that u lie to mi.
so i find it pointless lerx.
no matter what i say, and how i am gonna pls u to give mi some of ur time for baby.
end up, ur time is onli for ur com, ur slp, ur guy and girl frenx outside.
baby check up is onli 2 hrs the most.
but u will it so stressful cos it will sacrify ur 2 hrs of slp.
and might delay ur time meetin ur frenx at nite.
to what everybody noes.
i thought he change ler.
but after today, i am wrong.
he didnt change at all.
u couldnt even compromise mi a small request for baby.
and from now on, i will stop giving in to u and compromising u in anithing lerx.
i promise i will nv gonna be a fool to u again.
to help u dig ur ears, to help u change ur bedsheet.
to even help u explain every single thing to ur parents.
don expect much from mi ler ba.
after today, i am gonna change my attitude to u ler.
cos love is fading away due to ur irresponsible and ur immaturity.
i am sure i am alot mature then u.
cos i think of other more then myself.
xuemin